Tech Support Elf

Thursday, December 24th, 2009 02:20 am
flwyd: (asia face of the earth relief)
NORAD intelligence reports indicate that Santa does not experience time the way we do. His Christmas Eve trip seems to take 24 hours to us, but to Santa it might last days, weeks or even months. Santa would not want to rush the important job of delivering presents to children and spreading Christmas to everyone, so the only logical conclusion is that Santa somehow functions within his own time-space continuum.
NORAD Tracks Santa FAQ
As a Colorado kid, I knew two things about NORAD: It's an air force base inside a mountain and every Christmas Eve they appear on local news to update viewers on the location of Santa.

In the high-tech 21st Century, you don't have to wait for the local news to tell you where Santa is; you can watch his progress live in Google Maps and even in 3D with Google Earth. The technology gets better and the cultural heritage lives on. Santa is perhaps the best example of the mythic process alive in contemporary society.

A "volunteer to answer tech support email" list got passed around Google, so I've been enjoying reading questions from kids, thanks from parents, and reminders that not everyone is as skilled at using a web browser as I am.

Naughty, nice, or both, I hope you all discover a wonderful gift soon. (Take that as metaphorically as you like.)
flwyd: (I *kiss* linguists)
Every year, NORAD tracks Santa Claus's progress across the United States on Christmas Eve. But in a world of new media, this centralized arms-length reporting is passé. So this year, Claus Industries, Ltd. is trying something new: Santa Embedded Clause. Reporters can embed themselves on Santa's sleigh to deliver a first-hand account of sliding down chimneys and leaving nouns under the syntax tree.
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