flwyd: (big animated moon cycle)
16 years ago on November 30th I titled a post Persimmons, Not Parsimony because I'd been tickled orange to find a bowl of persimmons in Charlie's Café, the largest eatery on Google's Mountain View campus. It was the first day of Noogler Orientation and an inflection point in my life. 24 years later I attended an improvised Dickens performance at San Francisco's BATS Theater at which the audience answer to "What reminds you of the holiday season" was "persimmons!" and it sent the story off to a sweet yet tannin-infused evening of long-form improv comedy.

To round the night out, across the street I spotted The Interval, part cocktail bar/artisan café, part museum for The Long Now, an organization devoted to thinking 10,000 years in the past and 10,000 years in the future. I recall hearing vaguely about this group around 2009, and it's fitting that I landed in their bar after sixteen rotations of Earth's celestial gears: on display was a model of a component to compute the equation of time in their 10,000 year clock. Some of the code I wrote in my final months at Google computed the sun's elevation above the horizon at a given instant…in SQL. Over the last several years I've toyed with the idea of writing a book about the various ways humans keep track of time, but I'd forgotten about the Long Now folks… perhaps they could be a human element that weaves a narrative into my nonfiction tome.

There's an alternate history to my professional and personal life. In the fall of 2009 I had no long-term commitments. I had assumed that Google's hiring process involved choosing a location after passing the interview, not realizing that my acquaintance had referred me to a specific Google Boulder position. After quitting my job in early 2009 and traveling for the summer I had imagined that I might end up in the Bay Area, the center of gravity for the computer programming world and a place that hadn't yet lost the luster of early 21st Century techno-utopianism. San Francisco seemed like the hip place to be when I was 30, and I was curious if I would choose to live in biking distance of an office in Silicon Valley and commute to The City By The Bay for cultural enrichment, or whether I'd try a life in the dense urban space and make US-101 my daily journey. (I also interviewed with a company in DUMBO, Brooklyn, near the hipster haven of the other coast, Williamsburg). I wasn't upset to stay in Boulder ("You're already from there," Molly quipped), and as I watched Googlers complain about everything in the Bay Area from traffic to housing to taxes to rain ("You live in a place affected by drought and you're complaining about the rain" I memeed) I got to feel pretty good about sticking to my mile-high xeric roots. I continue to chuckle whenever someone moves to Boulder and is wowed about how cheap the housing is and how efficiently traffic flows.

Geography is destiny; where we are determines so much of the course of our lives. Had I moved to California I wouldn't have connected with Kelly in 2010, we wouldn't have lived through the 2013 flood, we wouldn't have gotten married on Talk Like A Pirate Day, we wouldn't have bought a house, we wouldn't have our cats. I'm in the Bay Area again this week because we visited Kelly's sister and our nephew, neither of whom I would've recognized as anyone special in this alternate history. I would have met other people in San Francisco and around this saucer of mountains. I would have partied with Burners more than once or twice a year. I would have picked up different hobbies, fallen in love with different people, built community in different places. Who knows if I would've stayed at Google for a decade and a half—over the last 10 years Facebook and Amazon kept trying to recruit me to Seattle for some reason, but I imagine a Bay Area software engineer gets lots more unsolicited job inquiries, ones that don't involve a change in homes too. At Google Boulder I made friends with the sourcing team, the folks who identify those potential candidates who aren't looking for a job. Engineering and People Ops had lunch on the porch together, went to the same office parties, and a pair even got married. That cross-organizational connection doesn't happen as much in Mountain View: there are far too many Bay Area Googlers to put unrelated jobs together in the same building. All things considered, I'm happy with the happenstance that kept me at 40 degrees north, 105 and a quarter degrees east, rather than sending me on a long-term assignment to 37 and a half degrees north and 122 degrees east. The weather here is pleasant year round, but that's not a great way to keep time.
flwyd: (escher drawing hands)
Stone's Observation: It always takes longer than you expect, especially when you don't take Hofstadter's Law into account.

Tech Support Elf

Thursday, December 24th, 2009 02:20 am
flwyd: (asia face of the earth relief)
NORAD intelligence reports indicate that Santa does not experience time the way we do. His Christmas Eve trip seems to take 24 hours to us, but to Santa it might last days, weeks or even months. Santa would not want to rush the important job of delivering presents to children and spreading Christmas to everyone, so the only logical conclusion is that Santa somehow functions within his own time-space continuum.
NORAD Tracks Santa FAQ
As a Colorado kid, I knew two things about NORAD: It's an air force base inside a mountain and every Christmas Eve they appear on local news to update viewers on the location of Santa.

In the high-tech 21st Century, you don't have to wait for the local news to tell you where Santa is; you can watch his progress live in Google Maps and even in 3D with Google Earth. The technology gets better and the cultural heritage lives on. Santa is perhaps the best example of the mythic process alive in contemporary society.

A "volunteer to answer tech support email" list got passed around Google, so I've been enjoying reading questions from kids, thanks from parents, and reminders that not everyone is as skilled at using a web browser as I am.

Naughty, nice, or both, I hope you all discover a wonderful gift soon. (Take that as metaphorically as you like.)

1234567890

Thursday, February 12th, 2009 12:06 am
flwyd: (daemon tux hexley)
Synchronize your ntp servers, 'cause 1234567890 is coming!

This Friday at 4:31:30 PM Mountain time, it will be 1234567890 seconds* since midnight on January 1st, 1970 Coordinated Universal Time. That moment marks the Unix epoch, time 0 -- the reference point for a great many computer systems today. This moment on Friday is special because it looks cool to species with a number system based on ten fingers.

Coming as it does at a normal beer-thirty time, I'd like to do something clever at work, particularly because some of our data is saved with a Unix timestamp. Does anyone know of some drinks or snacks thematically appropriate to 1234567890?


* Excluding leap seconds.
flwyd: (spiral stone)
December 25th:
1 PM: I call parents. They say they're "just getting going."
5:30 PM: I arrive at parents house. They're just about to put the turkey in the oven.
6 PM: Dad fills the nut trays, makes guacamole, and gets out some chips. We snack and socialize.
8 PM: I finish wrapping presents.
10:15 PM: Turkey is done, dinner begins.

December 26th:
12:10 AM: Pie consumption and dinner conversation ends. Head to living room to watch previously discussed cartoons.
1 AM: Mom finishes assembling bags of food (in lieu of objects) and wrapping a couple presents.
1:45 AM: Baby boomers finish unwrapping presents which I amusingly addressed in yellow highlighter on newspaper.
2:30 AM: Everyone goes to bed.
11 AM: I wake up and check email. Reflect positively on the decision to take Boxing Day off work.
1 PM: Breakfast begins. (Blueberry pancakes, pickled herring, sliced ham.)


Last week my mom left a long rambling message about how she didn't know what to get me for Christmas because I'll be putting all my stuff in storage in a few months anyway and I've got the books I need... So I told her she could give me tasty things I can eat before I head south this spring. Amusingly, we each gave each other a pomegranate. I gave her three varieties of ginger candy from Pacific Ocean Market. I delayed wrapping presents so I could read as much of The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat before I gave it to my mom. I also spent several hours reading Our Dumb World before I gave it to my dad.
flwyd: (farts sign - Norway)
Dear Retail Stores,

Experience shows that if you close at 5pm on Sundays, the most likely time for me to arrive at your store is between 5 and 6 on Sunday. Please take this into consideration when setting hours; would you make more money between 5 and 7 on Sunday or 10 and noon on Wednesday?

Sincerely,
Mr. Bearded Curmudgeon


Dear Ten Thousand Villages,

I've heard there's some neat things in your store. I saw stuff in the window I wanted to buy today. However, apparently the only time I'm in the vicinity of Cherry Creek North is Sundays. Your policy of not being open on Sundays has so far prevented me from buying your fine merchandise.

Sincerely,
Ten Thousand Annoyances

DeSTination

Saturday, March 10th, 2007 07:49 pm
flwyd: (big animated moon cycle)
Take two: Daylight Saving Time starts tomorrow. As a celebration of spring it's raining right now which may help wash away the piles of dirty snow still lurking in parking lots.

Possible parents and expectant murderers: if a person is born in the summer and dies in the winter they will enjoy two more hours of life than if the seasons were reversed. Void where prohibited. Residents of Hawaii and Arizona may not participate.

Clocks March Forth

Saturday, March 3rd, 2007 06:48 pm
flwyd: (big animated moon cycle)
Remember Americans: In an effort to save energy, Daylight Saving Time starts tomorrow (Sunday). Be prepared for random computer output being off an error if the latest zoneinfo/OS upgrades have not been applied.

Scratch that. My wall calendar has day numbers at the bottom of the box but holidays at the top of the box. I tried to check time.nist.gov, but it was unresponsive. Probably because time.gov is what I wanted. Thanks to alert readers for pointing out that I don't know my own favorite holiday.

Fun facts about Daylight Saving Time

September Time

Friday, September 29th, 2006 05:11 pm
flwyd: (java logo)
I logged 192.75 total hours at work this month, including 8 hours a day for vacation and Labor Day (total 32). 69.25 were programming and 36.5 were admin, a respectable ratio.

I'm getting better at this game.

August Time

Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006 01:31 pm
flwyd: (java logo)
I just finished my time sheet for August. I'll have completed 206 hours, 80 of which are All Purpose Leave (also known as "Vacation"). I feel a lot better about the time spent at work as well -- 70.75 hours logged in programming (and related activities like design discussions and bugzilla organization) well exceeds the 28.25 hours of admin (like reading email).

And due to my previous vacation frugality, I can take up to seven days of vacation before the end of the year, or save that up for next year.
flwyd: (tell tale heart)
Paraphrase of a conversation between [livejournal.com profile] flwyd and [livejournal.com profile] tamheals:

T: ... that's because you don't have a blind spot in the area of money.
F: Yeah. I just have a blind spot in the area of the fridge. And time.
T: Yeah, you don't have a relationship with time.
F: Yes I do. I have a polyamorous relationship with time.
T: Haha. You and time have an alternative relationship.
F: Some people don't think it's right, but time and I live our relationship the way we want. We have a sub relationship.
T: A sub relationship?
F: Yeah. Whereas you and I have a dom/sub relationship, time and I have a sub/sub relationship. I don't boss time around and time doesn't boss me around. We just do stuff quietly and notice that time has passed.
T: You're like "Oh... the Body Works exhibit was today... My brother was supposed to call..."
F: "Hey, it's noon. Time and I spent the whole morning in bed..."
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