flwyd: (escher drawing hands)
Stone's Observation: It always takes longer than you expect, especially when you don't take Hofstadter's Law into account.

Tech Support Elf

Thursday, December 24th, 2009 02:20 am
flwyd: (asia face of the earth relief)
NORAD intelligence reports indicate that Santa does not experience time the way we do. His Christmas Eve trip seems to take 24 hours to us, but to Santa it might last days, weeks or even months. Santa would not want to rush the important job of delivering presents to children and spreading Christmas to everyone, so the only logical conclusion is that Santa somehow functions within his own time-space continuum.
NORAD Tracks Santa FAQ
As a Colorado kid, I knew two things about NORAD: It's an air force base inside a mountain and every Christmas Eve they appear on local news to update viewers on the location of Santa.

In the high-tech 21st Century, you don't have to wait for the local news to tell you where Santa is; you can watch his progress live in Google Maps and even in 3D with Google Earth. The technology gets better and the cultural heritage lives on. Santa is perhaps the best example of the mythic process alive in contemporary society.

A "volunteer to answer tech support email" list got passed around Google, so I've been enjoying reading questions from kids, thanks from parents, and reminders that not everyone is as skilled at using a web browser as I am.

Naughty, nice, or both, I hope you all discover a wonderful gift soon. (Take that as metaphorically as you like.)


Thursday, February 12th, 2009 12:06 am
flwyd: (daemon tux hexley)
Synchronize your ntp servers, 'cause 1234567890 is coming!

This Friday at 4:31:30 PM Mountain time, it will be 1234567890 seconds* since midnight on January 1st, 1970 Coordinated Universal Time. That moment marks the Unix epoch, time 0 -- the reference point for a great many computer systems today. This moment on Friday is special because it looks cool to species with a number system based on ten fingers.

Coming as it does at a normal beer-thirty time, I'd like to do something clever at work, particularly because some of our data is saved with a Unix timestamp. Does anyone know of some drinks or snacks thematically appropriate to 1234567890?

* Excluding leap seconds.
flwyd: (spiral stone)
December 25th:
1 PM: I call parents. They say they're "just getting going."
5:30 PM: I arrive at parents house. They're just about to put the turkey in the oven.
6 PM: Dad fills the nut trays, makes guacamole, and gets out some chips. We snack and socialize.
8 PM: I finish wrapping presents.
10:15 PM: Turkey is done, dinner begins.

December 26th:
12:10 AM: Pie consumption and dinner conversation ends. Head to living room to watch previously discussed cartoons.
1 AM: Mom finishes assembling bags of food (in lieu of objects) and wrapping a couple presents.
1:45 AM: Baby boomers finish unwrapping presents which I amusingly addressed in yellow highlighter on newspaper.
2:30 AM: Everyone goes to bed.
11 AM: I wake up and check email. Reflect positively on the decision to take Boxing Day off work.
1 PM: Breakfast begins. (Blueberry pancakes, pickled herring, sliced ham.)

Last week my mom left a long rambling message about how she didn't know what to get me for Christmas because I'll be putting all my stuff in storage in a few months anyway and I've got the books I need... So I told her she could give me tasty things I can eat before I head south this spring. Amusingly, we each gave each other a pomegranate. I gave her three varieties of ginger candy from Pacific Ocean Market. I delayed wrapping presents so I could read as much of The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat before I gave it to my mom. I also spent several hours reading Our Dumb World before I gave it to my dad.
flwyd: (farts sign - Norway)
Dear Retail Stores,

Experience shows that if you close at 5pm on Sundays, the most likely time for me to arrive at your store is between 5 and 6 on Sunday. Please take this into consideration when setting hours; would you make more money between 5 and 7 on Sunday or 10 and noon on Wednesday?

Mr. Bearded Curmudgeon

Dear Ten Thousand Villages,

I've heard there's some neat things in your store. I saw stuff in the window I wanted to buy today. However, apparently the only time I'm in the vicinity of Cherry Creek North is Sundays. Your policy of not being open on Sundays has so far prevented me from buying your fine merchandise.

Ten Thousand Annoyances


Saturday, March 10th, 2007 07:49 pm
flwyd: (big animated moon cycle)
Take two: Daylight Saving Time starts tomorrow. As a celebration of spring it's raining right now which may help wash away the piles of dirty snow still lurking in parking lots.

Possible parents and expectant murderers: if a person is born in the summer and dies in the winter they will enjoy two more hours of life than if the seasons were reversed. Void where prohibited. Residents of Hawaii and Arizona may not participate.

Clocks March Forth

Saturday, March 3rd, 2007 06:48 pm
flwyd: (big animated moon cycle)
Remember Americans: In an effort to save energy, Daylight Saving Time starts tomorrow (Sunday). Be prepared for random computer output being off an error if the latest zoneinfo/OS upgrades have not been applied.

Scratch that. My wall calendar has day numbers at the bottom of the box but holidays at the top of the box. I tried to check time.nist.gov, but it was unresponsive. Probably because time.gov is what I wanted. Thanks to alert readers for pointing out that I don't know my own favorite holiday.

Fun facts about Daylight Saving Time

September Time

Friday, September 29th, 2006 05:11 pm
flwyd: (java logo)
I logged 192.75 total hours at work this month, including 8 hours a day for vacation and Labor Day (total 32). 69.25 were programming and 36.5 were admin, a respectable ratio.

I'm getting better at this game.

August Time

Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006 01:31 pm
flwyd: (java logo)
I just finished my time sheet for August. I'll have completed 206 hours, 80 of which are All Purpose Leave (also known as "Vacation"). I feel a lot better about the time spent at work as well -- 70.75 hours logged in programming (and related activities like design discussions and bugzilla organization) well exceeds the 28.25 hours of admin (like reading email).

And due to my previous vacation frugality, I can take up to seven days of vacation before the end of the year, or save that up for next year.
flwyd: (tell tale heart)
Paraphrase of a conversation between [livejournal.com profile] flwyd and [livejournal.com profile] tamheals:

T: ... that's because you don't have a blind spot in the area of money.
F: Yeah. I just have a blind spot in the area of the fridge. And time.
T: Yeah, you don't have a relationship with time.
F: Yes I do. I have a polyamorous relationship with time.
T: Haha. You and time have an alternative relationship.
F: Some people don't think it's right, but time and I live our relationship the way we want. We have a sub relationship.
T: A sub relationship?
F: Yeah. Whereas you and I have a dom/sub relationship, time and I have a sub/sub relationship. I don't boss time around and time doesn't boss me around. We just do stuff quietly and notice that time has passed.
T: You're like "Oh... the Body Works exhibit was today... My brother was supposed to call..."
F: "Hey, it's noon. Time and I spent the whole morning in bed..."
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