From the Mind of Trevor Stone

Mid-november, at brunch, Me: What do you want to do with your funemployment?
Kelly: Should we travel somewhere?
Me: well, we've got a wedding right before New Year's, so we probably shouldn't try something too far, or too high of a risk for COVID. How about Hawaii?

Mid-December, at the airport, Me: The amount of stuff we're carrying is kind of ridiculous. And heavy. I spent two months in Central America with one backpack and a hand bag of clothes. Two cameras (one got stolen). No phone, no laptop. I definitely didn't have an entire bag of radio equipment so I could earn fake Internet points…

In the end we ended up using most of the stuff. I brought a laptop because for several years I've been saying that the ideal time zone for Advent of Code is Pacific/Honolulu where problems drop at 7pm. I brought a bag of ham radio gear (radio, amplifier, tuner, batteries, antenna, tripod, coax cable, folding table…) so I could activate Parks on the Air from Hawaii, getting a step closer to "worked from all states." Kelly noticed me listening to KAPA on a portable AM/FM. "I brought three radios to Hawaii." "Yeah, that checks out." I brought three cameras (DSLR, 360, smartphone), though most of my Pixel photos are probably better than the DSLR ones. We brought snorkel masks and fins that we used exactly once, though bringing a snorkel gear bag meant we had space for other stuff, like a folding stool (good for a bedside stool among other things).

I definitely didn't need to bring a second long-sleeve shirt (when it's snowing outside it's hard to remember what "lows of 65" actually feels like). I brought several flashlights that I never had handy when I was outside in the dark. We didn't use the binoculars, though I don't think most of the whales have arrived for their winter vacation; the folks next to me on a sunset-from-the-cliffs evening think they spotted just one. I brought two towels, but don't think I really used one. I never looked at the small camp thermometer. The chocolate granola bar snacks I hoped to eat on the plane out there were nice and melted when I ate them on the way home…

You can really get a feel for the yin-yang of leeward and windward sides on the Big Island. Just looking at a satellite image of Waimea you can guess where the ridge line of Kohala, is on the Mauna Kea side. Driving from Kailua-Kona to Captain Cook and Honaunau quickly transitions from dry lava to wet-enough-to-grow-coffee-and-bananas. We visited friends in Puna for a couple days of intense driving rain, then bailed out back to the Kona side where the rain feels like a light misting. Our horseback ride guide explained that it takes about 300 years for an inch of soil to develop on new lava given ideal rain conditions like on the Hilo side; on the Kona side it can take a thousand years.

Looking at maps of Hawai'i subdivisions is kind of surreal. You know it's on the side of an irregular volcano, but the lines are just as straight and the subdivision just as rectangular and regular as in the great plains. The island is a little smaller than Connecticut with just 200,000 people, on account of the world's largest mountain and a lot of protected areas. There are broadly two types of vehicles: small sedans that can park in a tight spot at a beach and Toyota Tacomas with a lift that can get to a remote beach. I was a little surprised at the lack of electric bikes, though I only saw one road with a bike path on the whole island. A surprising number of tourists rent shiny Jeeps that they never seem to get dirty.

Early and mid December is a bit of a lull for visiting Hawaii; the tourist droves pick up in the week before Christmas as school lets out. Also, flying home on Christmas Eve is pretty cheap, though flight delays accumulate into the evening (my condolences to the flight from Oakland to New Orleans that got delayed until 10pm). The gate staff informed us that Southwest has an open seating policy, but will the 30 passengers please spread yourselves out along the length of the plane to keep the weight balanced. (I'm pretty sure they lost money on this flight.) The Safety Briefing Before Christmas was pretty good, though.

Some thoughts after a week in Maui, in no particular order:

When you're surrounded by ocean, rainbows are easy.

Even tropical fruit is expensive in Hawaii.

When Hawaiian kids thank someone for giving them candy, do they say "Mahaloween"?

If you stick your ears in the water, you can hear the wails of whales.

On Maui, it's even relaxing to be stuck in traffic.

When the sun sets over the ocean, rather than over a mountain, the clouds lose their color right away.

I wonder which immigrant group is the source of the ubiquity of macaroni salad.

When the ocean is involved, you can make plans, but don't assume the details will be the way you want them.

It's hard to recognize the right street sign when all the place names use the Hawaiian alphabet. "Our street, uh, starts with a K, ends with an i and is about three vowels long."

If you tell people you're on your honeymoon, they invariably smile and say "Congratulations!" Consider having a honeymoon that lasts for years.

Getting in the water from the shore is free, but if you do it from a boat you don't get sand in your swimsuit.

Reggae has played a big influence on contemporary local music. Surprisingly, hip hop doesn't seem to have made it to the islands.

Jet lag is no big deal in Hawaii. Dawn is about the time I'd be getting up at home, and it's also a good time to hit the water.

Even turtles go on vacation.

"Spam sushi" might sound unappealing, but call it musubi and it's delicious.

Man, Maui isn't an easy place to set up last-minute travel. I'm definitely going to need a vacation after the stress of setting up accommodation for two weeks.

I miss the days of getting off the bus in a new town and walking around the square to see which hostels have space.

But I'm super glad I can get to Polynesia at all. Hawaii is half way to New Zealand, and two weeks is half as long as a month. Yet I've got all of my eyes, so I'll call it a blessing nonetheless.

I also found it refreshing that you can identify a small local business by their complete lack of adherence to modern professional web design. Like this eco-friendly rental car company-slash-cat sanctuary.