Dignified Manure (AKA Good Shit)

Cleaning out the spam in my "contains an image, not addressed to tstone" box, I found the following subject:
Llamas have a dignified, aristocratic manner about them.
The first line after the image was:
Surprisingly, there is a market for llama manure.

Your challenge, dear reader, is to leave a comment with an entertaining pair of sentences of the form X have a dignified, aristocratic manner about them. Surprisingly, there is a market for X manure. Feel free to use different (but similar in tone) words in place of "dignified," "aristocratic," and "manure" for comedic effect.

Celto de Mayo

The skies hung thick all day, holding forth with an Irish-style drenching across the winding road past farms standing fast against the encroachment of homogeneity. We walked to Macky Auditorium, the most Castle-like building on the Front Range, during a brief dry spell. What could better set the scene for the arrival of Loreena McKennitt, the Canadian ambassador of Celtic romanticism?

The stage was set beautifully. The wiry centerpiece and elegant backdrop evoked an elegant Arabian room while the caged candles dangling from the ceiling provided a gloomy castle air when needed. The lighting was carefully coordinated to enhance each song's mood.

Even though I've listened to "The Mask and the Mirror" and "The Book of Secrets" many a time, I don't know the lyrics of many of Loreena's songs well. For instance, last night was the first time I followed the plot of "The Highwayman" all the way through. Instead, I let her voice become part of the musical soundscape that induces my spine to weave and transports my imagination to a land swirling with mist and mystery. "Santiago" may be the best example of this technique; it's a song made from around five phonemes (la, li, ti...) in several pleasing orders.

Loreena talked a little about her growing realm of influences. Her early albums^* don't particularly stand out among other "new age" Celtic music. Mostly solo, they feature beautiful distant female vocals based on old poems and folk songs, soft harp, occasional guitar, and a touch of synthesizer. But over the last twenty years she's dug deeper into the history and mythology of the Celtic people and found that they spread as far as Asia Minor and along the Silk Road to China. As she explored these ancient paths of mingling she has collected styles and spices not typically found in music labeled "Celtic." The following is a list of instruments I observed at the concert last night in roughly descending "stereotypical in Celtic music" order:

1. Fair-haired vocalist
2. Harp
3. Violin
4. Bodhrán
5. Accordion
6. Hurdy gurdy
7. Mandola
8. Acoustic guitar
9. Piano
10. Synthesizer
11. Bouzouki
12. Double bass
13. Viola
14. Cello
15. Drum kit
16. Electric guitar and bass
17. Congas
18. Dumbek
19. Oud
20. Erhu
21. Tablas (I place erhu above tablas only because Colcannon has two members who have managed to work the erhu into Irish music.) It is this musical diversity which takes the listener past the misty heath on an inward journey most fantastic. I thank Ms. McKennitt for sharing her words, music, energy, and atmosphere with us.
    
    
    *: I bought "Elemental" and "To Drive the Cold Winter Away," neither of which I'd seen before.