On Etiquette

Out of curiosity, in planning a wedding:

The groom's best friend is a woman, the bride's best friend is a man. Who gets to be the best man and who gets to be the maid of honor? And if the woman is on the groom's side and the man on the bride's side, what are the proper titles? Best woman and lad of honor?

A drag queen is a mutual friend of the couple. On which side does he stand, and what's the proper attire?

It's not that I'm concerned about following etiquette (or that I'm planning a wedding). It's just that I like to know when I'm violating social norms.

Open Letter

Dear Fat City,

I would like to dissuade you from the mistaken idea that hip hop is good music for roller skating. If you listen to a typical hip hop song, you will notice that it comes in chunks. The most prominent feature is the beat, and no structure in the music is continuous across the beat. I don't know about you, but I don't like to come to a full stop every five seconds while roller skating.

You obviously have disco and electronica in your collection. I urge you to experiment with these genres. Notice how the songs maintain a steady flow of music, much like a roller skater remains in constant motion. There are many things which can be said to the detriment of disco, but "Bad to roller skate to" is not one of them. When you open a pogo stick room, I firmly believe you should feature hip hop. But please restore disco to the roll-o-rink before I report your violation of the law which states that all roller skaters must hear YMCA on each visit.

Despite the tone of this letter, I was glad to slide about the floor this afternoon, and I am pleased to see that modern entrepreneurs can appreciate the profitability of roller rinks.

Sincerely yours,

Trevor Stone
b. 1979