The Shower Meme: It's Baaaaack...

Standing in the shower thinking
about what makes a man
an outlaw or a leader
i'm thinking about power...
the ways a man could use it
or be destroyed by it
the water hits my neck
and i'm pissing on myself...

standing
in the shower
thinking...

standing in the shower thinking
about a man i know don't like me
he don't like the place i'm headed
same place he's headed
i know he'd beat me to it
if he could but he won't do it
but he would man
if he could...
and the water is piping hot..
the water is piping hot
it beats upon my neck
and i'm pissing on myself...

standing
in the shower
thinking...

standing in the shower thinking
is my woman afraid of me?
she's seen how far i've twisted
it's just cause i can trust her
and ever since we met
she understood so she let
me twist her good...
i twist her good...
and the water is piping hot
the water is piping hot
it beats upon my neck
and i'm pissing on myself...

standing
in the shower
thinking...
-- Jane's Addiction,
"Standing in the Shower... Thinking"

Quckies first: Debunking exposes what lies beneath the sheets.
IHNP,IJLS "Deus Ex Washing Machina"

The Shower Meme is resurfacing in my neck of the woods, and I like to take an occasional shower. If you'd like to participate in the shower meme, drop me a comment and I'll ask you five questions. You then post the answers in your journal and invite others to be your interviewees. One variation that showed up on my friends page a few weeks ago was the post that said "Ask me five questions and I'll answer them." I don't like that variation as much, because it removes the individual "I want you to interview me" request, which I think brings a lot of the power and thoughtfulness to the exercise.

This set is from neverireven.

1. What was the best or most meaningful part of being an RA?

The best thing about being an RA was working and interacting with the sorts of people that aren't in my usual geeky circles. I interacted with complete extroverts, highly emotional people, people who aren't good with computers, people who struggle with school, people who party hard and often, foreign students, and many other folks. This provided lots of interpersonal learning opportunities as well as a chance to share in some great energy. A group of excited RAs can build some serious energy.

2. What's something you don't have that you'd like to have five years from now, and something you do have that you hope not to have in five years?

I'd like to have a long-term job, but that's fairly simplistic. I graduate in December, so I damn well better be able to find stable employment in five years. Unless I'm back in grad. school, which is like a long-term job without the stock options.

More significantly, I think I'd like to have a girlfriend. I go through phases (not necessarily linked) of feeling lonely or independent, horny or calm, romantic or stoic. I'm rarely in a mood, however, where I wouldn't appreciate someone to snuggle with.

The second part of the question is harder, since I try to get rid of things I don't want in a timely fashion. Moving to a different state will further lessen the amount of stuff I'll keep. I'm pretty healthy, so I can't say something like "high blood pressure." Perhaps I'll go with "Problems focusing on side projects," though that seems better expressed in the affirmative.

One thing I have now that I'd like to have in five years (though it will be a different instance) is a close circle of eclectic people with whom I practice and play through ritual.

3. I'm under the impression (correct me if I'm wrong) that you grew up Pagan, which I think is a fairly unique experience for someone in our generation. Are there any specific ways in which you feel that affected your childhood or helped shape the person you are today?

It's hard to say whether or not I "grew up Pagan." One day in 4th or 5th grade, we were given a piece of paper and told to find "Classmates who $attrib" where the variable was things like "rode the bus to school" or "has a dog." One question was to find someone who was of a different religion, and I said "But I don't know what religion I am. What religions are there?" Someone asked "Are you Christian? Are you Jewish?" I didn't know. "Are you Buddhist?" "I don't think so." Fortunately, it wasn't hard to find a Buddhist kid at Uni Hill. When I hear "grew up Pagan" I think of kids who are part of their parent's Pagan religious activities -- attending rituals, learning the metaphysics, and so forth. Such an experience isn't much different than growing up Buddhist. But my parents didn't have the a regular religious practice like going to church or a particular mythos from which we drew prayers and explanations.

One of my favorite books as a kid was D'Aulaire's Book of Greek Myths. I also learned about American Indians in elementary school, and read native stories at home. ("That Paul Goble fellow is writing stories about me again. My attorney will Sioux.") I loved Fantasy books -- I loved the Xanth books (and only in part because of the puns), I read Lloyd Alexander's series (The Black Cauldron, etc.) in 2nd grade. I loved (and still do) Tolkien's work. If I were in elementary school today, I'd probably be all over Harry Potter. I'll admit that I'm a bad witch and haven't read any of Harry past the first chapter of the first book, but I've got a lot of neat books in my queue.

We'd mark solstices and equinoxes not by religious celebration but by explaining the science. Sometimes my mom would bring everyone into the living room and light some candles and we'd reflect and share, which is sort of a basic version of lots of (private) Pagan rituals. At holidays like Thanksgiving, we'd find a good poem from our book of Earth Prayers. One summer in late elementary school I attended week-long courses on ancient Greece and Egypt. I'd invent explanations like "Snow is God's dandruff" and when it was raining "God is peeing." We celebrated Christmas (though I doubted Santa fairly early on) because our larger family did (and it's a convenient excuse for lots of things). We celebrated Easter for the egg hunt -- I only recently learned that it's connected with Jesus (at a first pass). My dad read us parts of the Old Testament after we'd read Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn, because we didn't understand so many of the references.

When I was about 13 we were standing in line in the Boulder Bookstore for a Grahme Base (sp?) book signing and I noticed a heading on a shelf of books. "Taoism? What's that?" I said, pronouncing a western "T." My mom said I might be into it and gave me copies of the Tao Te Ching and Chuang Tsu (trans. Gia Fu Feng). I dug the Taoist philosophy, and after I'd read those I read The Tao of Pooh, The Te of Piglet, and The Tao of Meow. I consulted I Ching when making tough decisions, like choosing New Vista over Boulder High. For that decision I also did visualization, talked to my cat, visited the schools, talked about positives and negatives, etc. Before my first play at New Vista, I was alone in the Multi Purpose Room (in the old building) and kneeled on the stage and offered spontaneous prayers to the gods of lighting, diction, energy, and so forth.

When I was 14 I attended a week-long Naropa workshop with Johnny Moses, a healer and storyteller from several Pacific Northwest Indian tribes. I'd seen Johnny tell stories before, so I attended in large part because he was so much fun. That workshop was probably my first introduction to group energy/spiritual/healing work in a circle (dancing around, drumming, etc.). I'd been introduced to smudging (cleansing with smoke and fire) by my mom before then, but this was my first exposure to it in a big way -- we'd start the day by passing sage around, etc.

It wasn't until I was 16 or so that my mom started working with some other folks from Naropa to put on public neo-Celtic celebrations. That was my first exposure to what may be the popular image of Paganism in America. That group exploded/disbanded a few years later. During the first two years of college I'd do my own thing based on how I was feeling spiritually. When I was feeling angry and in need of release, I wrote some things down, got a lighter, and went out in a field and tried to light it. (It took a lot of effort to get the paper to burn, and it took me several more years to release that.) On a few occasions when I was feeling happy and energetic I did some spontaneous spiritual dance.

I then saw some chalkings on campus for the Pagan Student Alliance. I caught up with them at Beltane. That summer some folks from the group started practicing in an eclectic Wicca style, and I've been with them ever since. In a sense, I've only been the sort of Pagan I am now since I've been with that group. Practicing with others has given me a social framework and regularity that's easier to pin down than the sampler approach I'd previously taken. However, since I had so many Pagan influences, the first word of "Eclectic Pagan" is the most important in describing my religion and spirituality.

In summary, I didn't exactly grow up Pagan. I grew up inquisitive, I grew up eclectic, I grew up outside a fixed religious framework. I brought the same sense of wonder to myths as I did to books about astronomy, I loved both spiritual poetry and mathematics. In late elementary school I learned to distinguish story from science; I didn't believe in Gaia but I believed in Gaia Theory. I now think of science as story, story that's good at accuracy and prediction, story that is yang to the yin story that touches the heart and inspires the spirit. My childhood love of play, books, and knowledge very strongly affected who I am today -- an adult who loves play, external memory, and knowledge.

4. If you could spend a weekend with any literary character, who would it be and what would you do?

I haven't spent enough time reading fiction in the last several years, so the literary character for me is probably in some tome unfamiliar to me. But I think it would be a total blast to take an American road trip with Zippy the Pinhead. We'd stop at every road-side attraction, mourn the dilapidation of quintessential American funk, and wax philosophic in diners galore.

5. Design yourself a hat. What's it like? Now, bestow it with one magical ability. What does your magical hat do?

The hat is soft and crushable, but folds into several different shapes. It's reversible, with calm and cool colors on one side and exciting and bright colors on the other.

I'd imbue the sides with energy instillery. The bright side could excite people to ecstasy while the blue side could calm people to trance.

---

From somaustralis:

1. How do you feel about those little American flag bumper stickers you see on everyone's car?

I'm not sure. I'm not sure what people intend with them. The American Flag is not a specific symbol; it has a wealth of intended meanings and developed associations, and they vary from person to person. They seem to have the effect of saying "I'm a patriot," but what that means isn't clear. Do you blindly support the government? Are you a fan of the constitution? Do you love the American people? The Amercan land? In a sense, it's modern art -- it's an image, and the audience is left to draw conclusions.

I do wonder if the irony is lost on people who wipe barbecue stains with American Flag paper napkins, but think flag burning should be outlawed.

2. Have you ever had Vegemite? If so, did you like it? If not, would you like to try some?

I might have tried some when I was in England six years ago. I had some toast with it and said "Ech. I'd rather have plain bread." Of course, I'm a fan of plain bread.

3. If you were a turnip, where would you be right now?

I think turnip season is mid-late fall, so I'd probably be surrounded by wet dirt. Mmmm. Wet dirt.

4. What is one thing you've done that you are most proud of? That you regret the most (if you have regrets..)?

I might be most proud of Cronos. Our computer science senior project was to build a computerized version of the TITAN board game, and the five of us worked together and produced a decently-designed properly-functioning and almost-complete product. (There were two obscure rules that didn't make it in, and we didn't have time for Artificial Intelligence, but you can sit down and play a game.) The same can't be said of some of the other groups who've gone through the class, and that experience showed me that I could be an effective programmer.

I don't regret a whole lot of things, more attributes. I may regret not socializing more; not keeping in better touch with friends. I regret breaking up with mlechan, but we've remained excellent friends and I've learned a lot about myself in processing since then, so it's not a regret like "I shouldn't have chopped off my foot." I try to make the best out of whatever situation I end up in, so regret isn't very important.

5. If a movie was made of your life, who would play you?

Whoever was cast as me.

I don't think my life to this point makes a coherent enough story for a narrative film, but I think any actor who's playful and has enough fake hair could do a decent job representing me.

So ask away! It's the meme that keeps giving!

I Shower Meme more often than I Shower...

I'll be helping my brother move to College of Santa Fe until Sunday, so I'll take a message and get back to you later. In the mean time, here's more shower meme. Incidentally, it's the Shower Meme because anoisblue came up with it in the shower. It's also acceptably known as the Interview Meme. The rules, if you haven't been paying attention: Ask me for an interview; I'll send you five questions. Post the answers in your journals and invite others to ask you for an interview. If you'd like to know some answers, you can also feel free to ask five questions as shadowpryde has done...

1) Have you ever read D'Aulaire's Norse Gods and Giants? If so, did it affect you as much as their Book of Greek Myths? In what ways?

I did a report on Norse gods in 6th grade based on that book, but I got it from the library, so I didn't have the "read it every other month" opportunity that I did with the Greeks. I thus have a passing recognition of the Norse gods and some of the major stories, but not like the Greeks. However, since I also did a report on Leif Ericsson, I have a better understanding of Norse history than I do of (non-Philosophical) Greek history.

2) What plans do you currently have for your life post-graduation?

Travel around, find a place to live, and get a job there.

I want to leave Colorado but probably stay in the West, so likely candidate metro areas are Seattle, Portland, San Fran, LA, Vegas, Salt Lake, Phoenix, Tuscon, or government-installation-in-the-middle-of-the-desert (Los Alamos, frex). I welcome comments regarding these locations and their environs (or other places I've missed that might host interesting software opportunities). Aside from a week in Santa Cruz and a week around Moab, I haven't been very far west of the Continental Divide, so I need to visit each of these places and catch glimpses of their soul and their surroundings. Can I stand a place that gets more than 15 inches of rain per year? Can I keep my cool during a week of 110 degrees? Is the ocean too wet for me?

During the Multiple Drawing Down I talked with the Lord and Lady and clarified my search procedure -- I need to be vulnerable, I need to ask what I want to know, I can't be afraid to change. Thus shall I find the heart and soul of the people and the place. On Saturday I asked for blessings from the Sun God as I travel the deserts and from the Horned One as I trek through the forests. He said he'd send me a sign -- a bird -- and when I saw it I would be knocked speechless.

3) Rattle off the names of a couple of fictional books that affected your spiritual outlook and explain why they did so?

I can't think of any. When my spirituality has been affected by books, it's been by philosophy (e.g. Tao Te Ching), myth (e.g. D'Aulaire's) or nonfiction (e.g. The Alphabet vs. The Goddess). I think RPGs have affected my spirituality, but mostly through playing and thinking about playing rather than, say, connecting with a particular Garou tribe. Most of my spirituality has come from nonrational internal sources, arising spontaneously through emotion or through play. Of course, my affiliation as Pagan is probably influenced by my love for fantasy books.

4) How did your workshops at Dragonfest go?

I'll write a Dragonfest post after I get back from Santa Fe next week, but here's a glimpse:

My workshops were amazing. 22 people attended our Math and Science ritual, moving from station to station learning neat facts and doing some neat art on paper or their bodies. It was raining as we were setting up -- which was our one potential killer -- but it let up without destroying all our print outs. I met up with the person I had in mind for our fourth quarter caller at the Trance Circle the previous night, and as I invited him another girl got excited and volunteered to do a Bosse-Einstein Condensate call. Heather's neuron dance worked, but was kind of boring, but everything else was great.

My nonverbal workshop was lots of fun as well. As usual, most folks struggled at first, but after a few minutes people started moving together. A neat pentacle dance came together, the group danced around howling like wolves, and there were some funny-yet-effectual quarter calls. After a rough morning, Aria did a wonderful job in our melodrama. But the surest sign of the workshop's success was the fact that 25 adults stood in a circle and made silly noises by moving their finger between their lips. (I believe the Welsh word for this is "berlwm.")

Workshops are a great way to meet people. I had folks come up to me throughout the rest of the fest and thank me for the workhops.

5) What do you think of the local convention scene?

I've been once or twice to each of GenghisCon, BenCon, and TactiCon. Each time my goal was gaming -- usually card gaming -- and with mixed results. I've been in some really neat tournaments. I took second place in the oddly-formatted Mountain Shogun storyline tournament, winning my final game by Enlightenment (circa Scorpion Clan Coup). A couple locals produced an improved version of the L5R Tactical rules that produced some wonderful evenings. I met my friend Keith Baker (of the $100,000 WotC challenge fame) at an On the Edge tournament and I've been playing games at his house now for the last six years. There have also been some lame tournaments -- I wiped the floor with a Kolat Geisha deck in a tournament that the TO didn't get sanctioned or prizes for. I've been in a couple tournaments where only a handful of people showed, which were fun, but not very exciting. I've also tried some new games -- rail games are neat and I'd like to play again; AD&D Living City is not for me.

Overall, I've enjoyed my convention visits. Partly it was the thrill of an adventure on the bus down to Denver. I'd invariably meet up with someone I knew who'd give me a ride home or let me crash in their room. I'd joke a lot, sleep little, and surprisingly have no appetite; a bagel, a sandwitch, and two apples would keep me going all con. I haven't been to a con in the last several years, which means I haven't gone carousing in the bars, had my own hotel room, etc. I also haven't been to anything like GenCon, which I need to rectify. I think 2004 may be my chance to get back into hard-core geek mode, since I should have both money and time to spare.