Pun Dump

[flwyd]

I have too many volumes that are overdue. I need to go to the Library and ask a Librarian to check my balance.

If you write digits and symbols in acetone on your finger nails you're using reverse polish notation.

For the lispers in the crowd: Oops, upside the car!

I want to start a rock band called Sisyphus and the Rock.
<Sisyphus> Are you ready to rock?
<Crowd> Not yet!
<Sisyphus> Are you ready to rock?
<Crowd> Almost!
<Sisyphus> Are you ready to rock?
<Crowd> Not anymore!