This Too Shall Pass

Tam and I are splitting up.

She got a job as an LPN at the Colorado State Penitentiary infirmary. She's moving to Cañon City at the end of the month. I'll stay in Lakewood (aside from a break I'll post about soon) for the next several months and then make some changes of my own.

Some readers already know this; to others it may be a surprise. I do not at this time wish to write about all of the details of this process, but if you would like to discuss it over lunch or instant messenger, let me know. Over time I'll blog more about my inner perspective on the past, present, and future.

Some key points in FAQ form:

You're breaking up?! Why?!?!

When we agreed to get married, one condition was that after a few years we would reevaluate our relationship and decide if it was worth continuing for the rest of our lives. With the benefit of experience and insight into each other's personalities, we can see that, though our relationship features many positive aspects, we can tell that it's in neither of our best interests to stay together for a long time. Tam has important needs that I can't meet; I have important needs that Tam can't meet.

If you had reservations originally, why did you get married in the first place?

We'd been together for eleven months and lived together for five and a half. Tam was too sick to have a job and be in school at the same time. We didn't know what was wrong, and she was concerned about health insurance and other bills. She asked me to marry her so she could have the support she needed. I had reservations about making a lifetime commitment after knowing each other for less than a year, so I agreed to provide that support "at least through the end of school."

So... you got married for health insurance?

It's not the only reason. We loved each other, and still do. We've taught each other a lot about life. But it is true that we would not have entered into a three-way legal relationship (husband, wife, and State of Colorado) if universal health care were available or if my employer offered health coverage to cohabitants.

Do you guys hate each other now?

No. Our relationship doesn't follow a lot of norms. Just as our marriage didn't have a lot of elements traditionally associated with such an arrangement, we don't fit the stereotype of an angry, bitter divorcing couple. We haven't argued about who gets to keep what stuff. We've probably argued less in the last six months than we did in the first six months we were married (perhaps because now we know what's likely to set it off). I'll help her move at the end of the month; she'll give me a massage after we carry all the stuff in to the apartment. She'll call me when she has a question for a computer nerd; I'll call her when I have a question for a nurse. When your relationship is based on caring and open communication, bringing it to its natural conclusion can be a very healthy and positive process.

Who gets the cats?

We're still working that out, it's the most contentious issue of property division. "You take Kitty Boy!" "No, you take Kitty Boy!" They'll stay with me at least until she moves in. When I go out of town, they'll switch custody. After that? We'll figure it out.

I Has A Title

Trevor Stone, Pungentleman.

Dear Visa (A Letter From the Land of Security WTF)

This is a rambling description of my attempts at purchasing items online. It could probably be tightened up a bit for humorous effect, but my main interest was in documenting frustration so that I can refer back to it if some random charges appear on my card tomorrow. If nothing else, it serves as a reminder that nothing is quite as simple as handing some paper currency to a person and walking away with a bag of stuff.

Dear Visa,

You are, in many ways, in the businesses of electronic financial security and customer convenience. The following, therefore, should not happen:

1. I select my online purchase and enter my credit card information and shipping address.
   
2. I look away and look back to see a mostly-white window with a "Verified By Visa" logo and my credit union's logo and (as I recall) some text indicating that JavaScript wasn't enabled.
   
3. I enable verifiedbyvisa.com and mycardsecure.com (IIRC) via NoScript.
   
4. The page asks me to enter my security code, and the last four digits of my SSN and phone number.
   
5. I submit such information.
   
6. I am asked to create and verify a password.
   
7. The next page shows the Verified By Visa logo and the logo of my credit union. And a message that a popup was blocked. And nothing else.
   
8. I allow the popup window.
   
9. The main Firefox window is no longer active, but no popup window is visible.
   
10. I activate exposé and see the popup window and select it.
    
11. I still can't see the popup window. I select Zoom from the Window menu and it sizes itself.
    
12. The popup window has a submit button informing me that I should update my profile.
    
13. Clicking the submit button does nothing.
    
14. Back to the main window, there's still nothing but two logos.
    
15. I turn on Firebug and start inspecting JavaScript functions and the DOM.
    
16. I figure out which function was supposed to be run when the page loads and execute it through the console.
    
17. I am redirected to an IIS error page at verifiedbyvisa.com
    
18. I try the main page of verifiedbyvisa.com and receive another error page.
    
19. I wonder what kind of credit card company doesn't maintain the home page for their security service.
    
20. Um... have I made a purchase? Or am I in post-purchase/pre-receipt transaction limbo?
    
21. I check my bank balance. My current and available balances are within two dollars, so the site hasn't charged me yet.
    
22. I WHOIS verifiedbyvisa.com. Looks legit. I google verifiedbyvisa. The first page is on visa.com and has the same logo I saw before. It links to FAQs, "Solutions," places to shop, and more. Clicking on any of them leads to an error, though. What kind of credit card company has dead links all over their security system section?
    
23. I return to the site and add my item again. Now it thinks I want two. Yay! Reduce quantity.
    
24. I hit check out. Again.
    
25. I enter my billing and shipping information again. Note that the credit card number and security code fields are not of type Password, so Firefox suggests them.
    
26. I get redirected to a verifiedbyvisa page again.
    
27. I note it has a "Personal Message" which reminds me that I came up with a different password for this service a few years ago when buying tickets for a concert.
    
28. Based on the message, I try two variations on a password. It asks me for the card's security code, expiration date, and the last four of my SSN and phone number. Then it asks me for a new password.
    
29. I enter what I thought my password was before and jot down a super secret note which has enough information for me to guess the password again.
    
30. I am redirected to my original site of purchase.
    
31. I print a copy of my receipt.
    

Internet Explorer is still used by over half of web users, but I think Firefox is around a quarter. NoScript is one of the most popular plugins for Firefox. Other browsers let you turn off JavaScript as well, just not as flexibly. Many users concerned about security browse with JavaScript turned off. It would behoove a credit card company to design their secure payment system in such a way that security-minded users don't have to disable enhanced security in order to make online purchases. This game is 12 years old. You'd think somebody would have figured it out.