I've been using Twitter a lot more lately. Here are some clever things I've said that are worth repeating. I also set up a perl6 script to post a #quotefile quip every day.
- A smile is a hammock for your face
- I tried to order an extra large T-shirt from Rome. I received forty shirts.
- Bitcoin is a commodity whose foundation is the artificial scarcity of numbers.
- When @realDonaldTrump said he'd drain the swamp he didn't tell us that the effluent would flow into the Potomac and then into Chesapeake Bay (re: this story)
- Chuck Berry transported listeners to a simpler world where we pursued our crushes, drove fast cars, and the week ended with a rockin' dance.
- Imma let you finish @NCAA, but the March Hare and Mad Hatter are the best #MarchMadness team of all time. #DownTheBasketHole
- The 2010s surge in white nationalism is in large part a reaction to a century of white internationalism.
- Hypothesis: Trump thinks girls have cooties. (re: not shaking Angela Merkel's hand)
- Odd that we live in a culture that stigmatizes seeing a psychologist but not seeing a pastor. They do similar work with different specialities.
- If your house is too big of a landslide risk you can in theory get a new house. If you have a chronic disease you can't move to a new body. (re: America's model of health insurance)
- Sets to the left of me, sets to the right / Here I am, stuck in the middle with ∪ / #MathHumor
- alice@rabbithole> cd wonderland
- When you gaze into the void, the social media ranking algorithm answers back.
- The tyranny of Daylight Saving Time is not that you lose an hour of sleep or an hour of sun. It's that you let a clock decide when you act.
- More people lived in Kentucky in 2010 than lived in the US in 1790. Constitutional suspicion of federal power should apply to state gov't too.
- I'm more confused reading #Perl6 docs as an experienced programmer than Learning Perl as a novice: "Why'd you make the sausage that way?"
- Don't defend the status quo. Describe a better system and work to make it happen. Legislators gonna legislate–ensure they enact your vision.
- Regardless of the benefits of "like a business" governing, Trump's management style isn't fit for leading a country.
- None of us are as strong as all of us are.
- Best part so far of a two-week liquid+purée diet? Eating a bowl full of mayonnaise. #TastyRecovery
- A good approach to cleaning up public discourse on the Internet: you must listen before you speak. (re: a Norwegian news website's new policy)
- There are no high-paying jobs at family ethnic restaurants, but it's a crucial role played by immigrants. #JointAddress (re: proposed immigration policies that focus on high-paying tech jobs)
- For every war we start, we must end two more.
- The best way to stop drugs from coming into America is to grow marijuana in the U.S. #JointAddress
- Key change in gay marriage support was folks knowing more gay people. Let's create opportunities for Americans to meet ordinary scientists.
- Biologists are pro-birth, pro-life, and pro-death.
- Framing: refugees and immigrants are freedom seekers. They're willing to give up even home and family ties to pursue American values.
- Freedom isn't free. It's made possible by hard work and generous support from taxpayers like you.
- Hapless Hank wanted to be the "go to programmer", but instead became the goto programmer.
- Don't want to be subject to any government? 2000+ sqkm between Egypt and Sudan are claimed by neither.
- Honk if you fly south for the winter.
- “I'm not racist, I have black friends!” “This bill isn't homophobic, several closeted legislators voted for it!”
- I don't declare war on xenophobia. I declare peace. May it rest there.
- It's a travesty that America will have to navigate the era of alternate facts without George Carlin
- You can't keep evil out of a country; it doesn't travel on a plane. Evil casts its spores through ideas, sown in a heart fertilized by hate.
- Don't just make art. Be art.
- Humans are my ingroup.
- Obama sought dissenting opinions and input from experts. Trump surrounds himself with like-minded people and thinks he knows everything.
- Hey @POTUS, while you're making it harder to hire foreign workers, please invest in US education system so there are good Americans to hire.
- Halal food in NYC doesn't come in meal deals. It's Allah carte.
- If I told you that you tested positive for antibodies, would you hold them against me?
- Flotsam and jetsam are the mass noun equivalents of odds and ends.
- Pancakes crêpe me out.
- Just to keep things surreal @realDonaldTrump should nominate Hillary Clinton for Secretary of State. She's got experience and is unemployed.
- Strange times when a populace, concerned about decades of job loss, votes in a president whose catchphrase was “You‘re fired”
- Folks advocating for unfaithful electors in next month's electoral college have moved past shock, denial, and anger and are on to bargaining
- Two generations ago, GOP was the party of education, business, & taking blacks for granted; Dems the party of labor & southern xenophobia.
- 2020 campaign promise: free electoral college tuition for all Americans
- To tap into the wisdom of the crowd, maybe pollsters should ask respondents who they think will win their state and the electoral college.
- Next time can we choose the greater of two goods?
- To pay a parking ticket, I have to click "Add to Basket" as if I went to the Municipal Justice Store and browsed around for a nice citation.
- Maybe Republicans would get serious about #climatechange if we called it "Recapitalizing snow and ice banks."
- "Wake of the Flood" was the tidal track of the Grateful Dead's 1973 album. #pun
- Atlas Hugged, in which John Galt attends Burning Man.
- What do you call a really cute cephalopod? Squeed!
- I know I'm not going to eat half the food I bring to @burningman. I just wish I knew which half.
- I'm into second-order psychedelics. I don't take drugs myself, but I thoroughly enjoy consuming the output of those who do.
- When God closes a door He goes to the window, opens it, sticks His head out & yells “I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore!”
- Thank you Mario, but the princess is the protagonist in her own feature film!
- Mallard abduckted. Fowl play suspected. #terrible #pun