Thursday, July 27th, 2006

flwyd: (blue sky red rose)
I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote
peace than our governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much
that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them
have it. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower


Thursday, July 27th, 2006 09:18 pm
flwyd: (over shoulder double face)
Remember in the mid-90s when the Public at Large was learning about The Internet? One of the stereotypes is that the Internet was mostly about people in chat rooms having cybersex with 19-year-old virgin cheerleaders who were actually either 15-year-old virgin nerdboys, 37-year-old virgin nerdboys, or 52-year-old creepy old men?

Last week, I was on the computer and [ profile] tamheals was not at home. I logged into AIM, but left her logged in to other chat networks. A man she'd chatted with on OKCupid sent Tam a message and I decided to play along. I had not previously encountered this person, and I think he knew only vaguely of my existence. I present, for your edification, what transpired that evening. Names have been abbreviated to protect the guilty.

J (6:58:30 PM): i think okcupid is busted
T (6:59:22 PM): Also there are busty people on OKCupid.
J (6:59:33 PM): as you've proved
J (7:00:41 PM): what size are those anyway?
T (7:01:23 PM): Supersized.
T (7:01:27 PM): Would you like fries with that?
J (7:01:48 PM): yes please
J (7:05:13 PM): so you've been good this year?
T (7:06:31 PM): Depends. What happens if I've been naughty?
J (7:06:40 PM): a spanking naturally
T (7:07:34 PM): I've been fairly naughty.
J (7:07:46 PM): followed by that old english school punishment, a good dicking
J (7:09:32 PM): so what are you doing? anything naughty?
T (7:10:12 PM): I'll leave that to your imagination.
J (7:10:35 PM): so no then :)
T (7:11:59 PM): You just need a more active imagination.
J (7:12:22 PM): i have a great imagination. i'm just too tired...
J (7:13:28 PM): what are you wearing?
T (7:13:57 PM): You can't imagine that either?
J (7:14:47 PM): if i could imagine everything i wouldn't need to talk to you :O
J (7:16:22 PM): ok, i'll start. i'm wearing nothing and i'm stroking my cock
T (7:17:13 PM): Where's the imagination in that?
J (7:17:47 PM): ok, i'm eating your pussy and massaging your breasts with my big hands
J (7:18:06 PM): i lick slowly up your slit and suck and lick on your clit
J (7:18:31 PM): i stick my tounge inside you and fuck you with it :)
T (7:19:48 PM): So your imagination says I'm wearing your face, I see.
J (7:20:13 PM): now i want you to sit on my face while i play with those beautiful breasts and pull on your nipples
J (7:20:27 PM): i want you to grind your pussy into me and moan for it
J (7:22:02 PM): i put my fingers inside you and lick your clit
J (7:22:07 PM): god you're fucking wet
J (7:22:36 PM): i spank you a little and suck on your clit when you push it into my mouth
J (7:23:22 PM): hm, this is a little one-sided...
J (7:23:46 PM): :P
T (7:24:05 PM): A one-sided tongue?
T (7:24:26 PM): A möbius mouthpiece could play an interesting tune
T (7:24:52 PM): Twisting and turning and making her come soon
J (7:25:25 PM): are you playing with yourself? one straight answer :)
J (7:28:32 PM): guess not
J (7:36:17 PM): i have to say i'm fairly impressed you knew möbius had an umlaut. Unless you looked it up, of course...
T (7:36:41 PM): I know many things. I contain multitudes.
T (7:37:27 PM): I am the lizard queen. I can do anything.
J (7:37:31 PM): very well, what famous painter/mathematician incorporated a möbius strip into a portrait?
T (7:38:00 PM): We must not eschew Escher.
J (7:38:46 PM): very well, but you don't need to be exceedingly weird to prove a point. just take it down a level
T (7:39:40 PM): In Escherland, taking it down a level merely gives you a new view of the same situation.
J (7:39:59 PM): is that a GEB reference?
T (7:40:12 PM): No, just E.
T (7:40:58 PM): (Now that we've moved from clit licking to stair climbing, I should mention that Tam isn't home; this is Trevor.
J (7:41:11 PM): haha
J (7:41:16 PM): well played
T (7:41:38 PM): I don't know if you're interested in what I'm wearing anymore.
J (7:42:39 PM): i was starting to be impressed by what seemed to be a fairly well educated chick. fucker
T (7:43:07 PM): Women can't grok topology?
J (7:43:32 PM): can but usually don't my friend
T (7:43:55 PM): Perhaps you should come to a firmer understanding of asymptotes.
J (7:45:09 PM): Perhaps I've spent more than enough years under the mathematical cloth already
T (7:45:28 PM): Your cylinder has graduated?
J (7:46:42 PM): ok, what the fuck did you study in school? these references are a bit too varied and quick
T (7:47:02 PM): Computer science and philosophy.
J (7:47:20 PM): oh, figures
J (7:47:27 PM): dork :)
T (7:47:34 PM): According to Moore's law, the speed of my puns doubles every 24 months.
J (7:48:10 PM): yeah, but eventually the lines will get too close together to be funny
T (7:48:59 PM): It just becomes more challenging to read between them.
T (7:49:16 PM): Most men find lines close to each other to be rather enjoyable.
J (7:50:30 PM): too challenging evidentally. let me get out the photolithograph
J (7:52:52 PM): well, gotta run. if you ever need a programming job in dc, let me know
T (7:53:28 PM): What about Marvel?
J (7:53:37 PM): what about it
T (7:53:47 PM): Do you know of any openings there?
J (7:53:59 PM): let me check
J (7:54:00 PM): no
T (7:54:24 PM): Programming Spider Man seems more challenging than programming Superman.
T (7:54:40 PM): (If I remember my intellectual property correctly.)
J (7:55:07 PM): now i have no idea what you're talking about
T (7:55:49 PM):
J (7:56:40 PM): i see
J (7:56:44 PM): no
J (7:57:28 PM): tell tam i said hi and, whatever else... :)
Yahoo (7:57:36 PM): J has logged off

Bonus pun: I met a girl at Möbius Strip Club, but she was one-dimensional.
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